Tom discusses his wife Candace’s emotional journey surrounding the adoption of her son.  Her son reached out at 18, leading to a reunion, but communication dwindled over time, causing distress for Candace. He shares how, even as a tertiary member of the adoption constellation, he developed a Ghost Kingdom after their reunion with Candace’s son. Tom encouraged patience, hoping for a future strengthening of their relationship. Tragically, her son passed away at 23, leaving Candace with unfulfilled hopes of deepening their bond.

He shares how, even as a tertiary member of the adoption constellation, he developed a Ghost Kingdom after their reunion with Candace’s son. Tom reflects on his role in this situation, expressing guilt for possibly hindering the relationship between Candace and her son by advising caution and restraint. He also discusses Candace’s process of healing, including writing a memoir titled “Goodbye Again” about her experiences from pregnancy to years after her son’s passing.

Tom finds support groups essential, both for his understanding and for dealing with his feelings of guilt and loss. He also touches upon the complexity of adoption dynamics, Candace’s realization of her emotions as a birth mom, and the importance of support groups in providing a platform for sharing and understanding diverse adoption experiences.