If you’re learning you had a DNA surprise, were a product of adoption, assisted reproduction, or a non-paternal event, there are a lot of new terms and information to digest.
- Take a moment to look at the terms and familiarize yourself this new language. Sometimes having words for what we’re feeling and thinking makes things easier.
- There’s lots of info available under support: different organizations that help people with discoveries and processing adoption, assisted reproduction, and NPEs, sample outreach letters, a fillable medical form to request info from your new genetic family.. and much more,
- Check out the stats page if you’re curious about how often misattributed parentage, adoption, birth from the of assisted reproduction or an NPE occurs.
- We also offer classes and webinars that can help you with various aspects of your journey from understanding your DNA test results to dealing with narcissistic people on our education website.
- Find a therapist
We need your financial support to continue offer our services for FREE and advocate for change
Read other people’s narratives, listen to podcasts, or watch them telling their journeys on our Bear Witness Project. Reading, watching, and hearing other peoples’ journeys helps to know that what you are experiencing is normal. Check out one of these books on these topics.
Misattributed parentage EXPERIENCES & Growing up Learning about genetic parents
Everyone has a right to genetic continuity, this includes parents, siblings, and offspring. Loss of genetic continuity may have psychological impacts that ripple throughout a family. Knowing your true genetic identity is a basic human right and matters for medical history purposes, identity formation, familial relationships, and knowing your roots.
There are overlapping impacts across the three communities of adoption, NPE, and assisted reproduction, see the diagram below. These are experienced on a spectrum. Some may experience few effects, while other may have significant impacts. These may be experienced quickly or may take a lot of time to process. And what we feel changes over time throughout our life. A life event like a graduation, illness, the birth of a child, or death of a family member may cause us to reprocess our feelings.
There are also a lot of similarities between people with misattributed parentage (MP), often a DNA Surprise, and those who grow up knowing they have different genetic parent(s) too; see the diagram to the right.
NPE, ADOPTEE, DCP
We can also look at the commonalities each community shares regardless of whether we grow up knowing we are adopted, DCP, or have an NPE or have an misattributed parentage. Below are five things most people experience who are from one of these communities including both raising and genetic parents.
By learning and understanding our similarities and differences, we can work together to impact real change to reflect our right to know who we are.
EDUCATIONAL FACT SHEETS for learning
Our fact sheets are designed for learning quick information about a topic related to MPEs, NPEs, Adoption, or Assisted Reproduction. Our first fact sheet is on understanding the difference between a mentor, life coach, and licensed therapist. We know each person processes their adoption, donor conception, NPE, and MPE differently and needs change over time. We want to ensure you know the difference between the different types of help available before you dive in.
TIME TO TELL
Our “Time to Tell” series provies parents with the tools they need to tell their child about their unique origin story from birth. Email info @RightToKnow.us if you would like to order printed copies.
Time to Tell: Adoption
Time to Tell: Assisted Reproduction
COMING SOON – Time to Tell: Non-Paternal Event
COMMUNITY LEARNING
Untangling Our Roots Summit 2023
The first-ever conference to unite the adoption, assisted reproduction, and non-paternal event communities into one amplified voice. Watch the digital version of the summit with 27 different topics and 60+ speakers.
Identity Series (Tribeca Studios and 23andMe)
These are stories of discovery; stories of connection; stories of identity. 23 remarkable storytellers use their unique perspectives in search of discovering who they are. Everyone’s story is worth telling.
TED TALKS
Shooting Blanks: What Happens When Law Can’t Keep Up with Technology?, by Jody Madeira (Feb 2021)
Turning Life’s Challenges Into a Force for Good by Maria Leonard Olsen (Nov 2021)
Can We Cure Genetic Diseases, by Rewriting DNA? by David R. Liu (Apr 2019)
Do Kids Think of Sperm Donors as Family, by Veerle Provoost (Dec 2016)
The Era of Personal DNA Testing is Here, by Sebastian Kraves (Sep 2016)
Identity Theft: How I Discovered My Secret Identity, by Albert Frantz (Dec 2015)
Listening to Shame, by Brene Brown (Mar 2012)
The Power of Vulnerability, by Brene Brown (Dec 2010)
Conferences
Untangling Our Roots Summit, sponsored by RTK and NAAP
The only biennial conference to unite the adoption, assisted reproduction, and non-paternal event communities into one amplified voice; advance awareness and education; seek truth and healing; and foster connections and understanding. 3+ days of jam-packed events including live entertainment, 60+ speakers, time to meet new people and connect with friends, and engage with authors and social media influencers.
SAVE THE DATE: Summit 2024 Denver, Colorado April 25-28, 2024
3-4 May 2019, New York University
Elizabeth Brake, “Constructing Conception: Gamete Donors and Voluntary Parenthood”
Inmaculada de Melo-Martin, “On the Valuing of One’s Genetic Origins”
Erin Jackson, “Stranger Than Fiction: Complicated Emotions and Inconvenient Truths from the Donor-Conceived Perspective”
Rivka Weinberg, “Gamete Donation and Parental Responsibility”
July 2019. This year we focused on anyone experiencing a DNA surprise first hand (or a family member or friend who has an MPE) by offering a day of learning and discussion about pertinent topics: legal, social, emotional, and DNA research.
Rachel Culver, attorney with Whitaker, Kent, Ordell PLLC, click to watch: Legal Matters Surrounding your MPE Status. https://www.wkolaw.com/rachel-l-culver/
Catherine St Clair, founder of NPE Friends on Facebook, Keynote Address.
Jodi Klugman-Rabb, LMFT, LPC, Parental Identity Discovery, click to watch: Parental Identity Discovery Presentation. https://jkrabb.com/parental-identity-discovery-npe/
Mary Kathryn Kozy, Genealogy Expert, click to watch: Identifying Red Flags in Your DNA Family Tree. https://www.marykozy.net/
United Nations Presentation by Donor-Conceived and Surrogacy-born People for the 30th Anniversary of the Convention on the Rights of the Child.