EXPLORER.  RESEARCHER.  MENTOR.

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.”

I was in college and had an inkling that I was really different from the rest of my family.  My dad approached me on one of the many trips I took out west to see him, and asked for a DNA test.  It was one of those 1990s DNA labs, y’know?  I still have the readout they gave us–it’s in my vital documents safe with my birth certificate and passport.  “Excluded as the father.” My whole world changed with that phrase.

I spent years reconciling the family that I knew with the family that I’d discovered.  I used the same skills that I lean on professionally to find Raymond (my biological father) in short order.  I wrote a letter and sent a photograph showing how much I look like him–the hair, the nose, the smile.  He called me at 8:30AM on a Saturday, and we went from there.  I met him twice–once in 2005, and once in 2009.  I’m in his second-wedding photos.  I’m in his obituary.  It wasn’t an easy relationship – I’ve never been comfortable with the nuances of added-family – how long do you wait, if at all, to say that you love one another?  But it was a friendship, and I wouldn’t give that up if I had it all to do again.

My MPE journey hasn’t been easy for those in my raising family, and it’s left its mark on my personal life and decisions throughout the years.  But I would always rather know than be in the dark–genetic identity matters.

I have kept on taking DNA tests since the original discovery, which has allowed me to expand my worldview and know even more about my genetic origins.  I am grateful for the knowledge.  I am so grateful for this community.  I hope that my volunteerism as a new mentor for RTK will help others feel less alone.